The Legacy of David Mann

If you have not heard the news, I am sorry to be the one to break it to you: David Mann passed away July 9. Sunday morning, at the end of a terrific AG in Philadelphia, he had a massive heart attack and went very quickly. His wife Linda is in the hearts and minds of many friends. In his home town of New Hope, Alabama (just outside Huntsville), his funeral was literally standing room only.

I met David in June of 1979, and received my first Mensa hug from him. I have had the privilege of spending a lot of time with him over the last 20 years, and feel indescribable sorrow. This essay is not about me, though, it’s about David, and what he did for Mensa.

David joined Mensa in 1977. He became active in the North Alabama Mensa group, and was soon holding local offices. He was elected RVC (Regional Vice Chairman) and held that position through most of the 1980’s. In 1993 he was elected Second Vice Chairman of American Mensa. He was later again elected RVC. Even after he was no longer on the AMC, he was often asked to be a presenter at workshops for local group leaders.

David was RVC during a time of growth in Mensa. Because he was a private pilot and had the use of a plane, he was able to not only attend RG’s all over the region, but to visit all local groups and get to know the active members personally. He had charisma, knowledge, humor, and people-handling skills; his leadership shaped Southeastern Mensa into the strong region it is today. There have been years when this region was the only one which had a net gain membership. But the best thing he taught, by example, is that we’re happy to be together. Many Mensans use the word family to describe the friends they have made through Mensa, but I hear that word more often, and more heartfelt, in the southeast than anywhere else I’ve been.

When the news was spread at the AG that David had died that morning, the shock was tremendous. This was followed by many friends hugging friends, sharing their grief. My brother Charlie pointed out that David had helped make hugging an official greeting in Mensa, and now we were hugging because of him.

I asked Cathy Funston to tell me the story again of how the Hugging Contest started. She and David went to an RG in New Orleans, in 1978. They took with them a local member, Fran Beckett, who was so shy it was painful to watch her in a social setting. So when they introduced her to Marvin Grosswirth, David told Fran that it’s a long-standing tradition in Mensa that when you meet someone, you give them a hug. This was total fiction, of course. But Marvin, bright man that he was, was not about to turn down a hug from a sweet young thing. As a matter of fact, he told her the first hug was good, but he thought they could do better, so they had another.

Fran did eventually figure out that this "long-standing tradition" was just for her benefit, but on the long drive home she commented that after you’ve hugged someone you just naturally stand and chat with them a while. So as they drove and planned the first Alabama RG, they decided that having a Hugging Contest would encourage people to hug each other, even if they were not friends yet. There would be secret judges in the crowd, so you’d want to hug as many people as possible during the weekend in hopes of getting a Hugging Award. This would be a sure-fire ice-breaker. It worked, and it spread. RG’s in the south were proliferating in the 1980’s, and most of them had hugging contests. Even if they didn’t, you were always hugging friends, old and new. That sense of family was easy to feel, and easy to believe.

Now that family is in mourning. We have suddenly lost one of our best and brightest. As we recover from the shock and move through the stages of grief, I have noticed one reaction showing up in many people. Every time a friend moves on to the "EG" (Eternal Gathering), we are reminded that we never know when it’s our last chance to tell someone we love them. In the past week, throughout Mensadom, there have been many calls and e-mails to do just that. This is strengthening our bonds of friendship, and reminding us what we like about Mensa: the people. Even as he leaves us, David inspires good in the group. His legacy lives on.

Eileen Steinhice